A Swiss remedy for global warming?
The Swiss are very good at keeping secrets. Take Einstein for example. They kept him buried in a patent office for years and years. And then, before anyone could figure out how to patent a brain or the theory of relativity, he escaped, just like that, without anyone even knowing he had a brain, let alone that it should be patented.

Well I think it’s the same story all over again with Swiss cowbells. Just goes to show, when the time is ripe for a secret to be shared with the rest of the world nothing can keep it from breeching borders and clanging the bomb alarm.

This whole business about cowbells started a few weeks ago when some cows wearing rather large bells got dumped on my doorstep. I thought I’d cracked an ancient code, the real secret behind Swiss democracy and a classless society. The tonal effect of cowbells being akin to a frontal lobotomy, the reason why everyone around me smiles all the time.

Now I see that this was just the tip of the iceberg! I mean, just think about it calmly for a minute. Haven’t you ever stopped to wonder why this tiny landlocked country escaped 2 world wars totally unscathed while floating gently in the heart of a boiling cauldron? How did they do it? What kind of beam-me-up-Scotty device were they using? And what can we learn from this to help our planet survive the next big boil – global warming?

The answer is... cowbells!

How so?

Masaru Emoto (the water crystal man) says we can bring down the temperature of this planet just by calming our minds.

Swiss cowbells calm the mind by simply removing it all together. It’s a bit like the erase function on a computer or the ‘white noise’ installed in supermarkets to jolly clients along and get them to buy lots of  chocolate at the checkout. This is how Switzerland managed to make itself invisible during 2 world wars. They tweaked the matrix, (con)fused thinking and managed, just like today's supermarkets, to jolly everyone into emptying their pockets into swiss bank accounts and buying all their chocolate,  before going home to get shot at.

So maybe it’s time to start marketing these things on a grand scale. Send them to all the world’s hot spots and tie them around the necks of all hot headed politicians.

Who knows, we could precipitate the next ice age! And if not, at least the right people will get the lobotomy.

© Jena Griffiths